Should I stay or should I go?
The decent thing to do would be to stay at least one night, as day trippers simply do not spend enough cash. The responsible tourist will spend a few nights, eat in local restaurants and press coins into the greedy palms of the unemployed.
This listing is of course just my personal best-of, a florilège if you will. The full and frequently updated/downgraded list is available as ever on collobrieres-tourism.com
There are two Hotels in Collobrières, with ten rooms apiece: the Hotel Des Maures, which unfortunately has no web presence, and the Hotel Notre Dame which does.
Welcome to the Hotel Notre Dame
What they don’t tell you on their horrible Flash powered site, is that this lovely little fellow Max, sits right outside eyeing the place day and night with a sneaky sideways look, the spitting image of Jimmy Wales, very appealing. Mmm that’s nice Max!
Next we move on to the Chambres d’hôtes or Bed and Breakfasts. These are typically run by late middle aged couples with a sincere love of kitsch, an inexplicable desire to invite total strangers into their homes and a frantic need for extra money to avoid foreclosure. You have been warned, now read on:
Domisileadore I can’t resist quoting the site, I love the way foreigners can never quite get it right.
“Collobrières is an authentic village just north of Bormes les Mimosas, DomisilAdore has one guest room with its own entrance, bath room and terrace. The guest room has room for two adults and eventually a young child. we immediately fell in love with Collobrières ; the restaurants, the piece and quite and the happy people”.
Even though I am not terribly partial to Dutch people, this couple come over as being so darned cute, but what have they been smoking? happy people Wtf?
Funny this word bastide keeps cropping up, for here we have the idiot bastide goat farmer, or as he would doubtless prefer “Aristocrat, rugby player, goat-herd and poet”. A man who purveys his cheesy what-nots to the rich and famous over in Saint Tropez not wishing to sully his noble ass with us paupers in Collobrières. If ever you were tempted to linger a day or too chez Loic, I would advise you to to pack some tasty snacks, as the lady of the house – clearly portrayed as a nut job by her husband – only serves dinner when the fancy takes her. Nut job? Not a bit of it, this is clearly an honest womanly compromise to her earlier protestations “no you’re not having a fucking bed and breakfast here darling” Good for you Andrée Cécille.
If you actually had won the first prize in a competition for a have it away weekend for two in any of the above establishments, then you would understand that the second prize would of course be be a whole Saturday to Saturday week in one of the following:
This wonderful little place needs no introduction for those that have glanced at some of my other posts, this one for example.
arbutus unedo“The so called strawberry tree - arbutus unedos (sic) – gave its name to our Villa ”
The botanical name Arbutus unedo comes from the Latin ‘unum edo’, meaning ‘I eat one’. Just one, no more. By extension then I suppose they mean you will stay in their pleasant little dwelling just one night, no more.
Now this place does look nice doesn’t it? It is, I walk past it every morning on my way to work, thinking just how nice it is and wondering how much they charge per week. If anybody can find that out I’d be interested steve@collobrieres.org Cheers.
To wind up, something that the local authorities are none too pleased about, but seem unwilling to take any action; the village car park has recently been given three stars as a motor-home aire by motorhomefacts.com . So go on be an asshole like them, what do you care about the local economy? Come and stay her for free!
MOTORHOMEFACTS.COM COLLOBRIERES FACT SHEET
| Number Of Pitches: | 10 | |
| Information: | Follow the main road through the town and on the opposite side there is a pleasant parking place that is better than the official town Aire on the way in. The place is well signed on the right. Hard grass pitches with some shade (not much) and not so dusty as the other Aire. | |
| Attractions Nearby: | This town is the chestnut centre of the area with festivals going on for pretty much the whole of October. There is the chestnut museum, chestnut ice cream factory and a confectionery factory – using chestnuts of course. Very nice village atmosphere. | |
| Toilet Rating: | Free | |
| Distance from Public Transport(miles): | 1 | |
| Opening Dates: | Open all year | |
| Cost per night (High Season): | Free | |
| Cost per night (Low Season): | Free | |
| Cost for services: | Use other services in town | |
| Max Stay (Days): | 3 | |
| Campsite Type: | Parking Place | |